Brando Archive

  • Disney Princess Web Cam

    Disney Princess Web Cam

    First, I doubt this is an officially licensed Disney product. Something tells me Brando doesn’t have that kind of pull. Second, this thing is $52. I’m pretty sure you can buy a cheap webcam and put a mirror next to it for the same price. Third, wouldn’t this look great next to my Beanie Babies? [...]

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  • Heated slipper looks downright dangerous

    Heated slipper looks downright dangerous

    There are a few areas of concern to point out about this $24 “USB Paw Heating Slipper” from Brando. For starters, you're sticking both your feet into one giant slipper. What happens if you get an e-mail saying that there's free bagels in the break room? In your haste to save $2, you could very easily trip and fall down.

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  • Sound and vision: The spy monocular and long range sound detector

    Sound and vision: The spy monocular and long range sound detector

    I knew when I got to the Neighborhood watch meeting last week, that guy from down on the corner was talking about me again. I saw him outside, standing next to his car. Of course I take security a little more seriously then the rest of the people who just like to *say* that are protecting our neighborhood. Next time though, I'll be able to hear him. I just bought the new Spy Monocular & Long Range Sound Recorder.

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  • Trust issues? This tiny clock has a built-in video camera

    Trust issues? This tiny clock has a built-in video camera

    And now to finally get to the bottom of WHO DRANK MY LAST TAB?! This unassuming little clock tells the time and tells you who’s been breaking into your house at night to eat multiple peanut butter, lettuce, and pastrami sandwiches. It’s definitely not you sleepwalking.

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  • Affordable 7-inch touchscreen PMP is just aching for a web browser

    Affordable 7-inch touchscreen PMP is just aching for a web browser

    Oh Brando, you tickle the collective fancy of internet users everywhere with your $177 touchscreen portable media player. It plays back high-definition video files, it can be hooked up to a TV, it doubles as a digital photo frame, and it’s expandable via microSD cards.

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  • Flashlight Speed Holster: Sure, why the hell not?

    Flashlight Speed Holster: Sure, why the hell not?

    This here is called the “Flashlight Speed Holster with Battery Compartment,” brought to you by the good people at Brando. According to the product description, “This Revolutionary Holster allows operators to increase the draw speed of a flashlight!”

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  • Speaker with 4.5-inch LCD looks cool, but features are sketchy

    Speaker with 4.5-inch LCD looks cool, but features are sketchy

    BrandoBehold! A small step forward in multimedia speakers! This one has a built-in 4.5-inch LCD screen and it only costs $99. According to the product description, the screen is a "high definition color display." According to me, that's dead wrong. But who cares? It's a screen built into a speaker! Hurray!

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  • Brando Hand Grenade USB flash drive

    Brando Hand Grenade USB flash drive

    STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES!

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  • WiFi detecting cap detects WiFi, deflects funny, attractive people

    WiFi detecting cap detects WiFi, deflects funny, attractive people

    In the Old West a man was defined by his hat. Stetson, Ten-Gallon, and Bowler were only three of the myriad hats available to a real man and these hats often stank of pomade and sweat and were frequently infested with lice and caked in a fine crust of dandruff. The Old West totally sucked. Thank God we live in the New West because now, for $14, you can wear a WiFi detecting cap that shows current WiFi levels in your general vicinity. It comes in two styles - circular and, apparently, Engadget- and comes in black, red, or white.

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  • Brando has a multi-touch+keypad for you Windows guys

    Brando has a multi-touch+keypad for you Windows guys

    Well look at this, it's a combination Multi-touch touchpad and a plain ol' numeric keypad. (Years from now, when we're all using laptops, or, I guess, touchscreen interfaces, kids will ask, “What's a keypad?”) It's from Brando, if you had any doubts at all as to who makes it.

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  • TIRE SECRET CAMERA ZOOM! GOOD FRIEND WISHES!

    TIRE SECRET CAMERA ZOOM! GOOD FRIEND WISHES!

    OK IT'S TIME FOR BRANDO TIME AGAIN! Good friend give you a clock! Don't think it's a pinhole camera with remote! Don't! You will be a fool to think so! Don't worry! Need to make sure no one blackmails your car shop! Press the button and record video! It is a tire clock that looks like a tire and is a camera! 12FPS! $69.

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  • Brando tests the limits of consumer behavior with folding credit card light bulb

    Brando tests the limits of consumer behavior with folding credit card light bulb

    pocket lampI'd love to be a fly on the wall during one of Brando's product development sessions. This product, for instance, is a folding credit card-sized "light bulb" that appears to be nothing more than a little LED shining upward against some sort of translucent plastic.

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