U S Senate Archive

  • The U.S. Federal Government wants to take control of the Internet during ‘imminent cyber threat’

    The U.S. Federal Government wants to take control of the Internet during ‘imminent cyber threat’

    Posted on June 3, 2010 | No Comments
    The federal government wants to take control of the Internet in the event of an "imminent cyber threat," as declared by the president. What constitutes an "imminent cyber threat"? You'd need two things: a known, pretty darn big flaw in the network and knowledge that someone was planning on exploiting that flaw. So, if you received a tip that, say, hackers working for the government of Rival Country were planning to exploit some Internet flaw in the next few hours, you'd call the president and say, "Hola. We have an imminent cyber threat on our hands. You need to give is the signal to protocol into place." And the president does, and the federal government is now all up in your Internet, connecting your tubes, etc.

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  • U.S. Senate: It’s cool to jam cell phones in prisons

    U.S. Senate: It’s cool to jam cell phones in prisons

    Posted on October 8, 2009 | No Comments
    cell-jammerOh, U.S. Senate. Just when we thought you had turned your collective attention to the plethora of incredibly important issues to tackle (read: healthcare, 2 wars, global warming, education, etc), you go and pass the Safe Prisons Communications Act of 2009.

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  • Proposed law would give White House ‘cybersecurity emergency’ powers over the Internet

    Proposed law would give White House ‘cybersecurity emergency’ powers over the Internet

    Posted on August 28, 2009 | No Comments
    Internet King and America's news editor Matt Drudge is freaking out right now, complete with his trademark scare quotes. (I swear, you could probably write a thesis about how Drudge influences the American media.) There's a bill that's currently floating around the U.S. Senate that would, in times of emergency, put the Internet, in a sense, in control of the White House. And then the government will make you eat fruits and vegetables! Tyranny!

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